Around 2021 my teen daughter became depressed and was struggling mentally. She started to self-harm and have suicidal tendencies. After a near attempt, we were offered support from the government. After bouncing around between three different groups for about 3 months, and none being of any help to her, I decided to pay for a private psychologist. I wanted someone that had experience with teenagers and treating teens with suicidal tendencies. I also knew I wanted a psychologist and not a therapist or counsellor. I didn't want to take any chances when it came to my daughter's wellbeing.

There were very few psychologists available, their books full 6 months in advance. I managed to secure the services of one, who was good; however, after providing 3 treatment sessions she decided to move towns. The second person was not a good fit, and caused my daughter more stress. In between finding the new psychologist, her moods and self-harming started spiralling. Given Covid appeared to have opened up the world in the cyber space, I thought I would be able to engage an online psychologist, but apparently you have to be located in the same country due to prescribing meds!! I only needed the psychological support, with any treatment meds being discussed and sent to her own doctor to prescribe. Seemed silly to me. She was already on medication, although took it spasmodically as she didn’t like how they made her feel. She was working in the hospitality industry so her binge drinking increased. I finally found another person who she got on well with and was allowed to contact her when she was in a spiral. She was great, but unfortunately, she moved away as well.

A number of times she had called Help Lines, but she said twice the person on the other end made her feel bad about herself. NZ had a large volume of teenagers self-harming, high rates of suicide, and no funding was being provided to help with this. Speaking to a person at work, their brother had gone through this, no help, put in a clinic, and as soon as they were released, he took his life. Another person I knew who was in their 40's had jumped off the house balcony 3 times to end her life, finally succeeding on the 4th attempt. It seemed that it didn’t matter what age you were, lack of support was so apparent.

In-between her spiralling bouts and me trying to source a new psychologist I had bought her a blank journal just to write down whatever she was feeling or thinking. To give her an outlet, to get her thoughts out of her head, and to look at it. I felt like this was at least a stepping stone in the right direction.

So, this started me thinking that there was a gap in self-help, intervening as early as possible, and breaking the spiral or stopping it from getting to that breaking point. Rather than be an ambulance at the bottom of the hill, I want to stop the slide early by providing simple, loving gestures, tools and support. I hope to assist you heal, grow, and get to the place you want to be so that you are happy, healthy and you feel worthy of receiving and giving love.

Arohanui

Camille